Most people instantly know the answer when given the question “What would you do with too much money?” Well here at The Nasty Philadelphian™ we answer the question “What would you do with too little money?” Though I am the only employee, I still use plural first person pronouns to remind myself that my hopes and dreams are still here. Nevermind, I fired them for underperformance. Anyways, I make videogames and if you think that’s a waste of my life, then just try playing them so that you too can partake in that activity. I’m sorry for all the negativity. My mommy told me I needed to become independent so that’s why I’m self-deprecating instead of relying on others to bring me down.
Okay so you know how the Articles of Confederation were supposed to be so great but they ended up sucking. That’s this game. It was my first complete full game and I was trying to staple the rocket together as it was flying, so by the end I didn’t want to redo everything to make it releasable to the conscious public. Its supposed to be like Five Nights at Freddys and it kind of is, but the mechanic is that the candle has to burn all the way for the “night” to be over instead of waiting. Keeping the candle on though heats the room and attracts the scary monsters. Oooooooh! I’m sooooo scared… of bad ideas. The game actually has a lot of good mechanics, atleast from my humble perspective, but the execution leaves everything to be desired. I figured out pretty quickly making this that my dreams are only as big as the dreamcatcher. I tried to add like HD super high quality assets and a ton of stuff, but the game’s memory spiraled out of control soon going up to… TWELVE GIGABYTES!!!!!!! Now in all honesty, if I had designed the game from the very beginning with these things in mind, then I think it could be somewhere around one gigabyte in memory which is reasonable enough to release to the general public. However it’s not and whenever I boot up the game, my beefy macbook starts to huff and puff like there are three little piglets around. I put eleven minutes of agonizing demo footage below for you to binge. Yes, the voice acting is all me and even worse, I had to hand draw all the two dimensional stuff. The only reason I’m happy with how this game turned out is because it turned out. In a few years, when I’m wise beyond my age and have a few million Zimbabwe dollars to my name, I might recreate this game because some of the mechanics are super duper fun. (Like in the demo footage, that ghost guy “Shadowbeard” appears in the left window and its so hectic tracking down the object that he wants in such short time.) Also I like how instead of showing people where all the monsters are, like in some other horror games where you can check the cameras cough cough, you instead have to listen to cues and remember where they are at all times so you can strategize and prioritize doing things. In the later stages, if you don’t remember where everything is at all times, you’re basically screwed. Also the parrot’s eyes get continuously more bloodshot with each level and the picture frame does indeed change pictures… sometimes.
This is gameplay with commentary, I also put ELEVEN minutes of boring non-commentary footage below if you’re watching for quality content.
This is me testing out my own game and pretending to be scared in front of my audience. It’s forward psychology!
